Its funny, we often feel stuck in life and feel like no more matter what we try to do, we never seem to be successful at accomplishing our goals. Most of the time we quit before we even get half-way to our goals or start thinking the objectives we had in place are not attainable. A lot of the times we self-sabotage ourselves, but often it’s the “F” word holding us back.
In this instance, the “F” word represents family and friends. I know many are of you are going to say you have loving families that support you and want you to succeed. This is great in those instances where this exists, however, most families have at least one person in it who we allow to get in our head to make us second guess whatever it is we are trying to accomplish. This person may be a parent, sibling, cousin, aunt or uncle. Sometimes these family members are intentional about their negative, non-supporting habits that are detrimental to you. And then sometimes they are just wired to be negative or through their own lives have developed an attitude that is not life giving or supportive of your hopes and dreams.
The other “F” word represents friends. Sure, a lot of us have many friends but how many are actually your closest confidants who will be honest with you and support you without any type of negativity. Really, take a minute and think about how many phone calls you have received over the past month that were substantive from someone who genuinely cared about you. Probably not many if any at all. And that’s okay because for most of us, the number of people around us may be large, but only a few people will be connected to our core and truly care about us. You want to keep these people in your life.
I can hear some people now that have read this far thinking this is a sad, depressing article. However, let me get to my main point before I lose people – lol.
My main point is that you need to identify those people in your lives who are closest to you that are not supporting your dreams. I am not talking about people in your lives who are honest with you but the ones who always tell you that things will not work out or that life is hard or that only certain people can be successful.
These people are often our loved ones who we grew up with in the same household or friends from school or colleagues at work. These are people who you speak with on a daily basis that continually feed you negative pills of gloom and doom. You know who they are because you are with them frequently. Heck, you know that even some of them talk about you behind your back and then smile in your face.
Well, its time to get rid of the “F” word in your life if those family and friends are not supporting you in a positive manner. Honestly, its really difficult to separate yourself from some people because you have been conditioned to the relationship.
For instance, think about a negative co-worker who complains all the time about the work, your manager and the company. One day you start thinking that you would like to become a manager and take some classes to become a better employee. This idea excites you and you share it with that co-worker who then starts talking about how hard it is to be a manager. They go on to tell you it’s a lot of work for not a lot of money. Then they start telling you school is difficult and will take up all your free time. After your conversation with them, you feel depleted, depressed and downright lousy.
Suppose you removed this person from your space and shared your idea with a co-worker who had a different perspective. You share with them the same scenario but instead off them being negative, they tell you it’s a great idea and as you speak with them, ideas pop into your head for what you need to do and how you will be successful. You mention that you are going to school to improve your skill set and they give you a high five for going after your dreams.
Which co-worker would you like to have in your life on a daily basis? I could write out multiple scenarios regarding family members and relationships outside of the office where you are struck with a defeatist attitude. Its all the same in the end. Some people are supportive of you and some are not. Its that simple.
I am not judging those people who are not supportive of you because we all have our own opinions based on life experiences. Some of us have created an internal dialogue that is fearful, vindictive and anxious that is intertwined with some depressive thinking. While others have experienced the same life situations but have a happy disposition that is supportive, caring and genuine.
People will often place you in a category in their head that is based on how they see themselves. They can’t imagine being successful, happy, or reaching their goals. So, they are not capable of being the person to support you in your efforts. I am not saying to completely remove these people out of your life unless you want to do so, I am suggesting that you limit discussing your dreams with them or be so self-assured that their opinion is of no value to you.
You are uniquely made and there is no one else like you in the world. Go out there, live your dream, take risks, remove your foot off the brakes and enjoy your life in a manner that is true to you.
Nurse Parker