Let It Go & Move On

As we go through our lives, both personally and professionally, we often hold on to people, thoughts, or objects which are not letting us reach our full potential. These things tether us to a narrative that we often need to break away from in order to create a more fulfilling life.

I will be the first to admit that it is sometimes challenging to let go of things that serve as anchors in our lives. On the professional front, it is sometimes necessary to recognize that some projects will not succeed. In our personal lives, some relationships will run their course. It is extremely difficult to gain momentum in life if we continue to drag along those things that we need to drop or remove from our lives.

I am not saying that we should just give up on thoughts, ideas, or people. However, it is important to recognize the need to identify and be truthful to yourself in terms of recognizing when it's time to “Let It Go and Move On”. And to be clear, when you do this, you are not giving up provided that you have made an attempt to accomplish a particular objective.

If you have tried to maintain a friendship through positive communication and the extension of grace, but the other person is not willing to move on, let it go. If you have tried to create an organization that is diverse and inclusive, but leadership fails to align with your objectives even after reviewing the positive evidence of the results related to an inclusive work environment, let it go. If you have tried to develop or improve a relationship through guidance, wisdom, and honesty, but you still are looked upon unfavorably, let it go.

The one caveat I have for letting something go is that you do so only after making a concerted effort. Some people have a tendency to get frustrated to quickly and give up without putting in the necessary work. In these cases, we stop short “three feet from the gold”.

As you move through life and encounter situations where you may let it go and move on, I would suggest you keep the following in mind:

• Have you done everything you can to resolve a situation? – As I mentioned above, it is important to do everything you can do in a situation to resolve it successfully. By doing so, you live without regrets and are able to move on successfully knowing you tried, but in this case you did not accomplish the particular goal in this situation. This also allows you to transition to your next objective easily because you are not second guessing yourself from that past experience whether it was something in your professional or personal life.

• Do not personalize anything unless it is personal – For the most part, things happen to us without regard for us. In this case, I am talking about thinking something occurred to us on purpose or was directed at us. In most cases, especially in our professional lives, we are affected by things that are not aimed at directly impacting us. However, at times it feels like it is something specifically coming at us versus it being the organizational strategic objectives, a co-worker’s agenda to succeed or a host of other things that would have occurred whether we existed or not. However, there are instances where it is personal and there will be no doubts about it. In those instances, we do not have to decipher anything as it is laid out in front of us clearly.

• Seek Help – As you meet challenges and obstacles, before letting go it is a good idea to seek assistance from those that can share insight and guidance. In a professional situation, it may be reaching out to a trusted manager or co-worker while in a personal relationship, it may be connecting with a therapist or a trusted friend who can provide objective advice. At times, we become trapped in our own thinking and seeking an outside perspective can often help us identify solutions or perspectives that we may have missed.

• Stay Positive – It is important to stay positive, regardless of the external chaos that may be swirling around us. This is often easier said than done and is hard to achieve 100% of the time, but with practice we can train our minds to be more solution oriented and less victim oriented. Things in life will happen, but we can control our perspective and actions to pivot to a positive place versus sitting or sulking in negativity. Shifting to a positive frame of mind will also decrease your stress as you know there is always a solution and while it may not be something you can figure out now, your optimism will allow you to continue down a positive path forward as you seek to identify potential solutions.

To sum, in life we will deal with a lot of things that are not favorable to us. We will face obstacles and challenges, but we do not need to let these things hold us down and prevent us from moving forward. We are capable of letting things go and moving forward into a positive direction. While it will be challenging at times, it is worth it!

Dave